What a radio studio, an 80s movie, and a hard lesson taught me about pressure
Why do we feel the need to audition for the life we already have? I’ve always struggled with this idea.
Whenever I landed a new job or project, I felt an intense need to prove people made the right decision.
When I got my job on the morning show at 95.5 PLJ with living legends Scott Shannon and Todd Pettengill, I got so stuck in my own head about being “the right person for the job” that I kept making mistakes.
One moment still stands out.
We had our own studio for the show, and one of my responsibilities was prepping the sound board and equipment to make sure everything was ready for the 6 a.m. open.
Even though it was our studio, other people at the station used it during off hours. They would constantly change buttons and settings while they were producing.
Because I was so deeply buried in my own head and ego, I would inevitably miss a button or knob. I would not realize anything was wrong until we were already on the air, broadcasting live to millions of people across the New York City area, and something did not work.
This went on for weeks.
At that point, I was not only in my head, I was convinced they regretted hiring me and would eventually give me the boot.
Then I remembered a line from the Tom Cruise movie Risky Business: “Sometimes you gotta say, ‘What the F*&*, make your move.’” You can fill in the naughty word.The line comes from a scene where a high school kid named Joel, played by Tom Cruise, is paralyzed by fear. He worries one wrong move will wreck his future.
His friend Miles snaps him out of it with this line: “Saying ‘What the F*&*’ gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.”
Who knew 80s movies were so deep?
I know it sounds silly, but that is what I started doing. Every time I stressed about a decision, I would say, sometimes out loud, “What the F*&*.”
And it worked. I settled in. I dropped the pressure. My career at ‘PLJ lasted 24 years.
We all do this. Even people who look fearless on the outside struggle with the same thing. Saturday Night Live star Michael Che, Colin Jost’s co-anchor on Weekend Update, shared a similar story on Mike Birbiglia’s podcast.
“Lorne Michaels used to always tell us, he used to always tell me, stop auditioning for the job. You have it,” Che said. “And it was frustrating as hell because I didn’t know what it meant. I think what he was trying to say was, you don’t have to convince me you can do it. Just do what you do.”
That was his “What the F*&*” moment.
Che went on to say, “Then we started to do that, and the things that worked were the things that felt the most natural. So we steered toward that. And it got pretty decent.” Better than decent, he’s been sitting on that anchor desk since 2014 and even served as co-head writer of SNL for 5 years.
See what happens when you get out of your own head?
You are not on tryouts.
You are already in the game.
Stop proving.
Start doing.
