How One Daily Compliment Can Change Two Lives.
Everybody loves a compliment, some more than others. I have trouble taking a compliment, but I’ve made a concerted effort in giving one daily. I call it a kudo-a-day. And I think you should give it a try. It’s not as easy as it sounds and requires intention and self-awareness, but trust me, it’s worth it.
A study from a few years back showed that compliments boost the well-being of both those who give and receive them.
Many of us live in the ‘key of me’ and often underestimate the positive impact that compliments have, leading us to do it less than we should. One reason might be that we’re overestimating potential awkward moments and underestimating the connection created by complimenting someone.
First of all, we never want to be cringe, but have you ever felt embarrassed by saying something nice to somebody? And secondly, we have no idea how a simple kindness can impact someone.
A professor in Japan found that receiving compliments can enhance performance in the same way as receiving monetary rewards. So if you’re a bit frugal and don’t know or want to give someone a tip, saying a kind word is just as good. Participants in the study who were praised after a task performed better the following day, showing that compliments are effective social rewards that motivate improved performance.
Let’s all try to refine our “Ku-Dar” — yes it’s a dad joke, but I couldn’t think of anything smarter — because it prevents us from taking everything for granted.
Trust me, I do. The gym I go to is always clean; you could almost eat off the treadmill, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Just yesterday, as I was working out, I realized that every day one of the employees walks around with a vacuum and picks up anything on the floor. I thought to myself — duh — of course that’s why the gym is so clean. So I walked over and said, “I know this is your job, but you probably don’t hear this often: I really appreciate the effort you take to keep this place clean.” This person smiled so hard I thought their face might split in half, and that’s a good thing.
Think about Facebook or Google reviews. They’re often filled with more negative comments than positive ones, probably because humans love nothing more than complaining and take good service for granted. But in real life, let’s reverse this pattern.
Selfishly, handing out compliments will make us feel better. Being a constant compliment-giver has been shown to improve self-confidence and social involvement. Another study showed that students who regularly gave compliments reported making new friends and feeling more socially connected. We’ve all heard about the loneliness epidemic that is crippling people young and old; what if throwing around compliments acts like a vaccine (disregard that analogy if you don’t believe in them, but you get the picture).
So how do we keep track of our ‘kudo-a-day’? Have you ever been to a baseball game where someone in the upper deck hangs up a string of K’s each time their pitcher strikes out a batter? We can do the same thing. In your app or old-school desk calendar, write a tiny little K to mark that day’s kudos. And if you give more than one, make note of that too.
Throwing around compliments is a simple yet powerful act that can make the world a better place. It can improve performance, enhance our well-being, strengthen social bonds, and benefit everyone’s mental health.
I’m throwing down the gauntlet and challenge you to give one genuine compliment today—just one—and see how it affects both you and the recipient. Tomorrow, do it again. Before you know it, your ‘kudo-a-day’ might just become the habit that changes everything. We all have super powers, let’s use them.
